Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 10: Monologuing or it didn’t happen

This week, we discuss: whether or not God has a penis and why he’s into circumcision; Jesus the perfect party guest; let’s all seduce Oliver Wood; teen embarrassment and legit reasons to be depressed; please boss us around, Emma Watson; flavorful souls and tasty Muggles; dementors are functioning alcoholics; the Ministry is made of stupid; Sirius’s muscles are made of no freaking way; without…

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 17: Thus the Lord cast out Satan, the Great Armadillo, and we all cried out for more rum

This week on Advanced Muggle Studies, we discuss: Salazar Slytherin, the snake-fetish Zorro; differences in Chamber set design; enter Tom “Blofeld” Riddle; THE BIG REVEAL; sociopathic memories; dangerous toddlers; ironic narcissistic racism is ironic; and then the murders began; Tom Riddle sucks at anagrams; douchey school nicknames; Harry drops all the mics; useful plot information;…