Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 18: A multitude of redeemed Lazari and a hailstorm of Ottaline Gambols

This week, we discuss the symbolic value of Harry’s blood sacrifice as presented to Dumbledore; prefects’ special visitation privileges; a distressing look at Hogwarts security loopholes; what the adults in this book have in common with Charlie Swan; Dumbledore’s forgiveness of Ginny’s sins by virtue of Harry’s noble sacrifice (oh come on, you know we were going there); more proof…

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 11-12: Ten points to House Hufflepun!

This week, we discuss: poor misdirected Ginny; magical hucksters; new and improved criminal Hermione; bad swelling puns; What the Fuck, Hogwarts?; Dueling Clubs are useless; no one in this school did any student teaching; pointless spell fights; Snape is a dick; Lockhart’s overexcited wand; even more bad penis puns; the etymology of Parseltongue; the return…

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone Ch. 6-8: It’s all “Purebloods First” until someone gets a fart trumpet

In this episode, we discuss: Platform 9 3/4, nice Weasleys, portrait boogers, boss Hermione, the four humours, the four Houses, diversity in the Sorting system, why Republicans and Slytherins should compare notes, how Confederate flags lead to Voldemort, Hufflepuff is judging you, racist pie and magical algorithms, the Michael Jackson of the Wizarding world, Harry’s…

Cursed Child, Act 4, Part 1: Adventures in fanwankery with the Ambiguously Gay Duo

Welcome back to Advanced Muggle Studies! This week, we discuss: legitimate prophecies, how to ruin a classic movie moment, dwindling bitchiness, this play making us numb to all feeling, what Scorpius named his penis, the possible Confunding of J.K. Rowling, William Shakespeare’s Star Wars, Pessimist Dumbledore fortune cookies, Harry and Draco’s forbidden love, the ethics of…

Cursed Child: Act 2 Podcast & Transcript

In Act II of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, we discuss: psychosexual hangups, Hogwarts the Failed Security State, first name issues, maudlin staircases, Scorpius Malfoy as Final Girl, when bad sexism happens to good characters, the inevitable Cursed Child porn parody in one scene, and our plans for Voldemort Day. (And hey — I know it’s…