Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 17-19: Hypersexual Werewolves, Wizarding Puberty, and Crotch Broom Fun Times (FULL EPISODE)

This week, we discuss: bloody imagery; complex book motives and actions vs. action-scene movie choices; Crookshanks and the Prisoner of Azkaban; Sirius says “SAVE MARTHA!”; robbing Ron; the cat knows which series he’s in; misdirection and Sirius-Lupin ships; WHY WOULDN’T YOU JUST PUT THAT IN THE MOVIE?; Sirius is out of fucks; so is Snape;…

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 12: A Salamander Patronus for Our Lord

This week we discuss: Ron Weasley, douche extraordinaire; Harry’s jerking phallic broom; why we’re pretty sure Hermione had other friends; Oliver Wood defines hubris; salamanders both live in burning fire and symbolize (once again) Our Lord, somehow; Paracelsus’s undies; sloths, manatees, coats of arms and Internet Jesus; no one but Hermione learns; the minutiae of boggart…

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 10: Monologuing or it didn’t happen

This week, we discuss: whether or not God has a penis and why he’s into circumcision; Jesus the perfect party guest; let’s all seduce Oliver Wood; teen embarrassment and legit reasons to be depressed; please boss us around, Emma Watson; flavorful souls and tasty Muggles; dementors are functioning alcoholics; the Ministry is made of stupid; Sirius’s muscles are made of no freaking way; without…