Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 10: Monologuing or it didn’t happen

This week, we discuss: whether or not God has a penis and why he’s into circumcision; Jesus the perfect party guest; let’s all seduce Oliver Wood; teen embarrassment and legit reasons to be depressed; please boss us around, Emma Watson; flavorful souls and tasty Muggles; dementors are functioning alcoholics; the Ministry is made of stupid; Sirius’s muscles are made of no freaking way; without…

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 6: Horoscopes and hippogriffs know no personal boundaries

This week we discuss: awesome alliteration; pretty pug Pansy Parkinson; how exactly Hermione planned to pull this off; academic excellence despite physics; emotional labor with Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny; large schools hate signs; Sir Cadogan and King Pellinore; Divination is clearly the worst to come; tasseography, apophenia and pareidolia; Helena Blavatsky and the paradox of Seers; Neville and the Macbeth effect; Hermione has no patience for this…