Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 6-7: Common sense dictates a 20-week mandrake ban until women stop sinning with their butts

This week, we discuss: the social leverage of Howlers; Gilderoy Lockhart’s narcissism; Google already knows what you’re thinking; The Matrix dude fantasies; mandrakes and sexual commerce in the Bible; hallucinogenic coincidences; anatomically correct root vegetables; the doctrine of signatures; keep the dog, lose the mandrake; posh Justin Finch-Fletchley; Republican wizards and the 20-day mandrake waiting…

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ch. 9-10: We earn every letter of NSFW

Welcome back to Advanced Muggle Studies! This episode, we discuss: obsession with surnames; why witches fly on brooms; why ONLY witches fly on brooms; lady ointment and phallic symbols; sanitizing and co-opting feminist history; What the Fuck, Hogwarts?; Oliver Wood is a hottie; Star Wars and toxic masculinity; what your Quidditch position says about YOU; why…