Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 6-7: Common sense dictates a 20-week mandrake ban until women stop sinning with their butts

This week, we discuss: the social leverage of Howlers; Gilderoy Lockhart’s narcissism; Google already knows what you’re thinking; The Matrix dude fantasies; mandrakes and sexual commerce in the Bible; hallucinogenic coincidences; anatomically correct root vegetables; the doctrine of signatures; keep the dog, lose the mandrake; posh Justin Finch-Fletchley; Republican wizards and the 20-day mandrake waiting…

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ch. 15: Come on, you KNOW you thought about it

This week, we discuss: more monomyth; disapproving McGonagall; positive social policing; What the Fuck, Hogwarts?!: After Hours edition; sexy My Little Ponies; virgins LOVE THEM SOME UNICORNS; magical boobs; poorly conceived Jesus metaphors; stop killing animals for their phallus parts; Apollonian vs. Dionysian philosophy and rituals; what Pentecostals and Dionysian ritual madness might have in common; why…