Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 5: Just keep the eldritch horrors out of my backyard, thanks

This week we discuss: inappropriate Weasleys; Hermione & Ginny 4LYFE; the fact that Hermione clearly has WAY more friends than either of the boys; putting up with bad male behavior; mansplaining with Percy Weasley; Arthur Weasley, Ministry rebel; real live adult supervision; Hermione-Sherlock fanfic; misdirection with Sneakoscopes and Scabbers; R.J. Lupin; Crookshanks knows what’s up; the fictional “driver”; weak Malfoy burns; no one in this book remembers they have…

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 11-12: Ten points to House Hufflepun!

This week, we discuss: poor misdirected Ginny; magical hucksters; new and improved criminal Hermione; bad swelling puns; What the Fuck, Hogwarts?; Dueling Clubs are useless; no one in this school did any student teaching; pointless spell fights; Snape is a dick; Lockhart’s overexcited wand; even more bad penis puns; the etymology of Parseltongue; the return…

Cursed Child: Act 3, Part 2: Ethel, cancel this play!

We continue with the second half of Act 3! This week, we discuss: the continuing search for Hot Neville, what one could POSSIBLY DO to get expelled from this damn school, Hufflepuff murder, psychosexual flowers, making out in front of the fireplace, Delphi is a fangirl, dumbfuck prophecies, the continual injustice of Ron, magic black lights,…