Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 15-16: Balls.

This week, we discuss: we’re still making Quidditch happen; #rightsforflobberworms; nascent political feels; the emotional labors of Hermione Granger; Hermione channels her inner Jessica Jones; also, shippers really want her to dye her hair; potential implications of Cheering Charms and wizard fetishes; Fred and George, smut purveyors; the fascinating and fraudulent history of crystal balls; dirty Quidditch…

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 13-14: That’s What She Said

This week we discuss: Quidditch rules and why they suck; the apparent dearth of Hogwarts theft; Cedric Diggory, Nice Guy TM; Percy Weasley is a security risk; Draco’s Muggle jokes and whether or not that proves fanfic right; Harry discovers girls and is immediately cockblocked; THE WORST QUIDDITCH GAME FOR SEXUAL PUNS MY GOD; by…

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 12: A Salamander Patronus for Our Lord

This week we discuss: Ron Weasley, douche extraordinaire; Harry’s jerking phallic broom; why we’re pretty sure Hermione had other friends; Oliver Wood defines hubris; salamanders both live in burning fire and symbolize (once again) Our Lord, somehow; Paracelsus’s undies; sloths, manatees, coats of arms and Internet Jesus; no one but Hermione learns; the minutiae of boggart…