Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 10: Monologuing or it didn’t happen

This week, we discuss: whether or not God has a penis and why he’s into circumcision; Jesus the perfect party guest; let’s all seduce Oliver Wood; teen embarrassment and legit reasons to be depressed; please boss us around, Emma Watson; flavorful souls and tasty Muggles; dementors are functioning alcoholics; the Ministry is made of stupid; Sirius’s muscles are made of no freaking way; without…

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 5: Just keep the eldritch horrors out of my backyard, thanks

This week we discuss: inappropriate Weasleys; Hermione & Ginny 4LYFE; the fact that Hermione clearly has WAY more friends than either of the boys; putting up with bad male behavior; mansplaining with Percy Weasley; Arthur Weasley, Ministry rebel; real live adult supervision; Hermione-Sherlock fanfic; misdirection with Sneakoscopes and Scabbers; R.J. Lupin; Crookshanks knows what’s up; the fictional “driver”; weak Malfoy burns; no one in this book remembers they have…