Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 10: Monologuing or it didn’t happen

This week, we discuss: whether or not God has a penis and why he’s into circumcision; Jesus the perfect party guest; let’s all seduce Oliver Wood; teen embarrassment and legit reasons to be depressed; please boss us around, Emma Watson; flavorful souls and tasty Muggles; dementors are functioning alcoholics; the Ministry is made of stupid; Sirius’s muscles are made of no freaking way; without…

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 1-3: Mistresses Margery and Dolores’s Institute for Badly Trained Bulldogs and Children To Be Punished

This week we discuss: things Harry Potter is or is not; why flatworms are flat; revisionist witch burnings and whether or not Wendelin the Weird was actually helping; poverty-shaming the Weasleys; that OTHER Valley of the Kings; Hagrid’s biting book; Harry repeatedly misses the obvious; Aunt Marge and The Bachelorette go Nazi; why white people don’t get to use the N-word; man buns are proof…

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 13-14: Won’t Someone Think of the Children (Seriously, no one here will)??

This week, we discuss: Professor Creed’s ass; Wizarding World’s Most Beautiful People; Moaning Myrtle’s parents; the curse of a usual toilet; never trust a book; Ron Weasley is always right; invisible ink and powerful writing; Lockhart attempts cross-curricular instruction; what singing telegrams your Professors would choose for each other; demeaning roles for little people; classist…