This week we discuss: inappropriate Weasleys; Hermione & Ginny 4LYFE; the fact that Hermione clearly has WAY more friends than either of the boys; putting up with bad male behavior; mansplaining with Percy Weasley; Arthur Weasley, Ministry rebel; real live adult supervision; Hermione-Sherlock fanfic; misdirection with Sneakoscopes and Scabbers; R.J. Lupin; Crookshanks knows what’s up; the fictional “driver”; weak Malfoy burns; no one in this book remembers they have…
Category: J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 4: This will go much smoother if you’ve read the book already, dear
This week, we discuss: isolating Harry; the Diagon Alley of our dreams; Old Mother Hubbard, meet Hannibal Lecter; the gloriously fun history of hags; do not fuck with Baba Yaga; diabetes does not exist in the wizarding world; Harry Potter and the Responsibly Spent Budget; do these people know they have magic?; unfogging the future with Cassandra;…
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 6-7: Common sense dictates a 20-week mandrake ban until women stop sinning with their butts
This week, we discuss: the social leverage of Howlers; Gilderoy Lockhart’s narcissism; Google already knows what you’re thinking; The Matrix dude fantasies; mandrakes and sexual commerce in the Bible; hallucinogenic coincidences; anatomically correct root vegetables; the doctrine of signatures; keep the dog, lose the mandrake; posh Justin Finch-Fletchley; Republican wizards and the 20-day mandrake waiting…
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 4-5: Still a better book than Twilight
This week, we discuss: awkward crushes; our favorite Lockhart books; the Hogwarts prefect at home; we’re pretty sure someone is Neville Chamberlain; how many bacon sandwiches does it take, really?; linguistic puns; Dan’s accent is broken; fabulous Lucius Malfoy; Drarry fanfic; what exactly is in Lucius’s basement; wizard race porn; adventures in sex shops; the…
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 1-3: By day he’s a Weasley, but by night he’s a Disney Princess
This week, we discuss: animal descriptions; Albus Potter is an asshole even when he’s not around; things have gone to shit when you miss Draco Malfoy; the Harry-Dudley relationship; why Americans fail to grasp the subtleties of pudding; BAD DOBBY is good at time management; Vernon, Petunia and Brexit; what exactly was that Japanese golfer…
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ch. 16-17: Abandon hope, all ye who prefer checkers
This week we discuss: Ginger Rogers tap-dancing pineapples; Hagrid’s big mouth; the best way to talk bad about people; Fluffy’s Inferno; ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?; trio teamwork vs. special skills; why is chess an essential skill in this world when physics is not?; Quantum of Quirrell; the Hatfields and McCoys of the Wizarding World; is…
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ch. 15: Come on, you KNOW you thought about it
This week, we discuss: more monomyth; disapproving McGonagall; positive social policing; What the Fuck, Hogwarts?!: After Hours edition; sexy My Little Ponies; virgins LOVE THEM SOME UNICORNS; magical boobs; poorly conceived Jesus metaphors; stop killing animals for their phallus parts; Apollonian vs. Dionysian philosophy and rituals; what Pentecostals and Dionysian ritual madness might have in common; why…
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ch. 13-14: The Answer Was There The WHOLE TIME
This episode, we discuss: evolving friend dynamics; Snape gets around; Neville is a badass; rabbit holes; Medieval Elvis; my incredible overarching theory of the series OMG; principles of alchemy; why the Sorcerer’s Stone, both the book and the object, are the keys to the entire series; the four stages of creating a Sorcerer’s Stone; color…
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ch. 11-12: That’s What She Erised
This week, we discuss: Quidditch-induced ball bruising; Snape/Filch slashfic; Lee Jordan for President; never tell Hagrid a secret; Voldemort’s eternal grudge against the Weasleys; holiday wish fulfillment; shagging in the Restricted Section; Hermione saves the world one piece of chocolate at a time; the logic of giving children priceless and powerful objects; why Dumbledore would…
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ch. 9-10: We earn every letter of NSFW
Welcome back to Advanced Muggle Studies! This episode, we discuss: obsession with surnames; why witches fly on brooms; why ONLY witches fly on brooms; lady ointment and phallic symbols; sanitizing and co-opting feminist history; What the Fuck, Hogwarts?; Oliver Wood is a hottie; Star Wars and toxic masculinity; what your Quidditch position says about YOU; why…
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone Ch. 6-8: It’s all “Purebloods First” until someone gets a fart trumpet
In this episode, we discuss: Platform 9 3/4, nice Weasleys, portrait boogers, boss Hermione, the four humours, the four Houses, diversity in the Sorting system, why Republicans and Slytherins should compare notes, how Confederate flags lead to Voldemort, Hufflepuff is judging you, racist pie and magical algorithms, the Michael Jackson of the Wizarding world, Harry’s…
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone 1-5: You Only Thought We Talked Too Much Before
This week on Advanced Muggle Studies, we discuss: exemplary cat behavior, names and symbolism, Project Runway: Dumbledore edition, classic literary archetypes, Joseph Campbell’s monomyth, ring/circle theory, aka chiasmus, passive-aggressive McGonagall, deep and abiding envy of J.K. Rowling’s genius, Dumbledore and misdirection, why Satan sounds like Antonio Banderas, forgiving the Dursleys (?), a market for Smelting…
