Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Ch. 17-19: The Unsettling Sexual Subtext of Remus Lupin and Werewolves (WEREWOLF DISCUSSION SECTION ONLY)

Because the 17-19 episode runs a little long, we’ve posted a special section just focusing on the fascinating discussion about the lore and significance of werewolves. In this section, we discuss: Peter Stubbe, Werewolf of Bedburg; belts, nudity and violence in werewolf lore; werewolves all over the world and why there are so few female werewolves;…

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 17-19: Hypersexual Werewolves, Wizarding Puberty, and Crotch Broom Fun Times (FULL EPISODE)

This week, we discuss: bloody imagery; complex book motives and actions vs. action-scene movie choices; Crookshanks and the Prisoner of Azkaban; Sirius says “SAVE MARTHA!”; robbing Ron; the cat knows which series he’s in; misdirection and Sirius-Lupin ships; WHY WOULDN’T YOU JUST PUT THAT IN THE MOVIE?; Sirius is out of fucks; so is Snape;…

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 11: Your Honor, I present this piglet as witness for the defense

This week, we discuss: Harry’s angst puzzle; Hermione really doesn’t know him at all; NO ONE IS GOING TO KILL ANYONE OKAY; Evil Hermione; dead family guilt trips; the need for Pensieves in law enforcement; world-building and violating continuity by way of The Last Jedi; damn the man; the flobberworms asked for none of this; does anyone ever leave Azkaban?; medieval animal trials and executions; how to serve eviction…

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 17: Thus the Lord cast out Satan, the Great Armadillo, and we all cried out for more rum

This week on Advanced Muggle Studies, we discuss: Salazar Slytherin, the snake-fetish Zorro; differences in Chamber set design; enter Tom “Blofeld” Riddle; THE BIG REVEAL; sociopathic memories; dangerous toddlers; ironic narcissistic racism is ironic; and then the murders began; Tom Riddle sucks at anagrams; douchey school nicknames; Harry drops all the mics; useful plot information;…

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 11-12: Ten points to House Hufflepun!

This week, we discuss: poor misdirected Ginny; magical hucksters; new and improved criminal Hermione; bad swelling puns; What the Fuck, Hogwarts?; Dueling Clubs are useless; no one in this school did any student teaching; pointless spell fights; Snape is a dick; Lockhart’s overexcited wand; even more bad penis puns; the etymology of Parseltongue; the return…

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 6-7: Common sense dictates a 20-week mandrake ban until women stop sinning with their butts

This week, we discuss: the social leverage of Howlers; Gilderoy Lockhart’s narcissism; Google already knows what you’re thinking; The Matrix dude fantasies; mandrakes and sexual commerce in the Bible; hallucinogenic coincidences; anatomically correct root vegetables; the doctrine of signatures; keep the dog, lose the mandrake; posh Justin Finch-Fletchley; Republican wizards and the 20-day mandrake waiting…

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 4-5: Still a better book than Twilight

This week, we discuss: awkward crushes; our favorite Lockhart books; the Hogwarts prefect at home; we’re pretty sure someone is Neville Chamberlain; how many bacon sandwiches does it take, really?; linguistic puns; Dan’s accent is broken; fabulous Lucius Malfoy; Drarry fanfic; what exactly is in Lucius’s basement; wizard race porn; adventures in sex shops; the…

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ch. 15: Come on, you KNOW you thought about it

This week, we discuss: more monomyth; disapproving McGonagall; positive social policing; What the Fuck, Hogwarts?!: After Hours edition; sexy My Little Ponies; virgins LOVE THEM SOME UNICORNS; magical boobs; poorly conceived Jesus metaphors; stop killing animals for their phallus parts; Apollonian vs. Dionysian philosophy and rituals; what Pentecostals and Dionysian ritual madness might have in common; why…

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ch. 11-12: That’s What She Erised

This week, we discuss: Quidditch-induced ball bruising; Snape/Filch slashfic; Lee Jordan for President; never tell Hagrid a secret; Voldemort’s eternal grudge against the Weasleys; holiday wish fulfillment; shagging in the Restricted Section; Hermione saves the world one piece of chocolate at a time; the logic of giving children priceless and powerful objects; why Dumbledore would…