The best class Hogwarts never offered
Your professors talk Wonder Woman! Costuming, gender dynamics, male vs. female directors, why this movie is far too good for the Snyderverse, and more! As usual — no transcript, and proceed at your own risk because SPOILERS ABOUND.
This week we discuss: Oliver Wood’s priorities; we need to discuss phrasing; smarmy Lockhart and softie McGonagall; Hermione Granger saves lives; Hogwarts civic planning must be magic; the history of the basilisk; cockatrices and cock eggs; the strangely powerful weasel; the Superman effect on the Voldemort of the Wizarding world; the complicated history of snakes,…
This week, we discuss: the return of Gigantic Fucking Spiders; the eternal question – is Snape acting, or just a dick?; we found the remedy for misuse of Petrificus Totalus; Ernie “Hot Take” Macmillan; Lockhart the useful idiot; impassioned Ron rules; wizards need Mag-Lites; Hagrid’s judgment is questionable at best; Arachne and Athena; the sexist…
This week, we discuss: Professor Creed’s ass; Wizarding World’s Most Beautiful People; Moaning Myrtle’s parents; the curse of a usual toilet; never trust a book; Ron Weasley is always right; invisible ink and powerful writing; Lockhart attempts cross-curricular instruction; what singing telegrams your Professors would choose for each other; demeaning roles for little people; classist…
In this short bonus episode, Professor Creed shares her thoughts about her recent visit to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando, Florida. Check it out if you’re interested! (But do note that Professor Creed is not the type to bubble over effusively about anything but Star Wars, so keep that in perspective.)
This week, we discuss: poor misdirected Ginny; magical hucksters; new and improved criminal Hermione; bad swelling puns; What the Fuck, Hogwarts?; Dueling Clubs are useless; no one in this school did any student teaching; pointless spell fights; Snape is a dick; Lockhart’s overexcited wand; even more bad penis puns; the etymology of Parseltongue; the return…
In this first bonus episode, we share our thoughts on the latest casting news for Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, as well as our reactions to the latest Star Wars: The Last Jedi teaser trailer.
This week, we discuss: why Pepperup Potion makes wizarding secrecy unforgivable; the Ghost Post; the souls of parchment; Sir Nicholas’s unfortunate history with teeth; the aptly named Argus Filch; things we learned from Jonathan Franzen; Filch’s bondage fetish; wizarding informercials; Austin Powers and magical erectile dysfunction; why Squibs matter; the prejudice book; what Nearly…
In our second Drunk Potterwatch, your Professors tackle Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them. Join us as we squeak every time a Niffler appears, and discuss costumes, Eddie Redmayne’s face, Tina’s missing balls, whether or not Ezra Miller is handsome, inbred No-Majs, Neil Gorsuch Shaw and Fox News, magical umbrellas, Newt and Hagrid BFFs, magical creature trafficking,…
This week, we discuss: the social leverage of Howlers; Gilderoy Lockhart’s narcissism; Google already knows what you’re thinking; The Matrix dude fantasies; mandrakes and sexual commerce in the Bible; hallucinogenic coincidences; anatomically correct root vegetables; the doctrine of signatures; keep the dog, lose the mandrake; posh Justin Finch-Fletchley; Republican wizards and the 20-day mandrake waiting…
This week, we discuss: awkward crushes; our favorite Lockhart books; the Hogwarts prefect at home; we’re pretty sure someone is Neville Chamberlain; how many bacon sandwiches does it take, really?; linguistic puns; Dan’s accent is broken; fabulous Lucius Malfoy; Drarry fanfic; what exactly is in Lucius’s basement; wizard race porn; adventures in sex shops; the…
This week, we discuss: animal descriptions; Albus Potter is an asshole even when he’s not around; things have gone to shit when you miss Draco Malfoy; the Harry-Dudley relationship; why Americans fail to grasp the subtleties of pudding; BAD DOBBY is good at time management; Vernon, Petunia and Brexit; what exactly was that Japanese golfer…
